Are you looking for a kind of sort of inappropriate free cross stitch chart? Welcome!
I have a bit of a secret that I have been keeping from you. It’s not a huge deal and it’s not something I’m terribly proud of… but quite often I have a dirty mouth. I’m not sure why or how it happened but the curse words pop out as if of their own volition. My profanity is especially likely when A: I hurt myself, B: somebody else does something stupid to me (like bad drivers) C: I’m stressed out.
But, I do have a professional side. It’s like when I’m working this part of my brain just deletes all of the dirty words I know. So people I work with have no clue that when I’m not on the clock I just might drop an F-bomb now and again.
Except this one time when I was on a phone conference and I turned my office chair around and started to coast across the room when the wheel got hung up on the rug, the chair tipped over and my hip hit one of the metal legs. I screamed some choice words because it hurt so badly. They teased me that it couldn’t be that bad but I actually had a bruise that went from the middle of my side down almost to my knee. The pain definitely warranted the barrage of nasty that came out of my mouth.
Moving on to modern day, I was at the grocery store when the checker puts a big can of beans on the little stand to write checks on (WTF I’m not going to pop it open like a bottle of water or package of gum for the drive home). To make the whole situation even more surreal, the can tips and hits me on the freaking foot.
You know that bone in the top of your foot that can cause awful pain? Yeah, it that’s where the can went. It hurt and I let out a suprised mild curse. The lady behind me took the opportunity to explain to me that pretty girls don’t have dirty mouths. My response: “Well, guess what, lady. Some pretty girls do.”
On that very trip I purchased some aida with plans to try my first counted cross stitch. I had no idea at the time what I was going to make my sampler say, perhaps home sweet home? But when I did get home another idea hit me (much like that dang can of beans) and this pattern was born.
Now, it’s not just my first attempt at stitching, but also my first attempt and creating a cross stitch chart. So if you encounter any problems, chances are I have no idea that it’s an issue. So please give me a shout so that I can fix up any mistakes!
I used the free chart from Better Cross Stitch Patterns to create on. You can download your own blank chart to work up your own pattern here.
Well, that’s it for today. Hoping it’s a good one!