I’ve been walking around looking like a cast member of Jersey Shore. And nobody told me. One day I just so happened to be in a lovely bathroom with lovely natural light when I saw my face and quickly got after it with a rough as all get-out paper towel trying to buff the fake spray tan look away. It kind of blended into my neck and I don’t know if that made it a little bit better or even that much worse.
When I mentioned it to Rob back at the table he shrugged and said “you’re a beautiful girl.” <— sweetest thing anybody has said to me all year or maybe my whole life but that ain’t helpin’ this day glow bidness up on my face.
You see for the first time in forever I have a bathroom with no natural light. I’ve noticed that the overhead lights cast kind of a wonky, is she an evil Disney character sort of a light down on me but I wasn’t concerned.
You see my makeup is a hot mess. Exhibit A.
This is what I have going on. The left tub is technically my makeup tub and beside it is my medicine tub which also has bandaids from the neighboring first aid tub and oh, hey, there’s my face powder in the medicine tub, too.
Take it out and it doesn’t get a whole heck of a lot better. Exhibit B.
I have so many foundations in here that I can’t remember which one I’m supposed to be using right now. Apparently I went with the height of summer, didn’t realize that ship had sailed, oh, Allison finally has a tan! shade pale. Because no matter what, I’m still freaking pale by most standards.
I was also disappointed that I couldn’t find any but 2 of my eye shadows and I have no idea how to use the smokey eye palette I bought so I’m just rocking the same colors day in and day out. But dang if I could find any of the others. And my mascara. It’s dried out and goopy and I have a new one somewhere but I couldn’t tell you where that is. Both things are even see through. I thought that would help. It has not.
I always wanted a Caboodle when I was a kid but I never had one. I got to play with the Caboodles of my friends and put a million scrunchies on my arm and then carefully stack them back in their little cute cubby. I was jealous. I really did want one but when I got a job I was so worried about Girbaud Jeans which cost $72 a pair back in 1996 (yeah – freaking nuts that I would pay that) that it sat on the back burner until my 36th birthday. For real. I just got this for myself for my birthday and I’m so old apparently I can’t remember things like numbers and was disheartened when my Mimmie called to wish me a happy day and then burst he bubble that no, I am not 35 :)
When we were at the Target to grab my Caboodle I was first looking at the train cases. They are sleek and fancy and have lots of compartments but I couldn’t choose one. And I just kept thinking about the one that looked just like the ones I wanted so much when I was a kid. So we whip back around and the pink one is gone. The pink one is GONE!
So Rob gets to go with me to another Target so I can get the pink Caboodle just like the Caboodles my friends had in the 90’s that just minutes before I wasn’t even sure about and now am disappointed in having lost. I’m a nut job some days I tell ya! But I finally get it. Her. I finally get her.
Behold the Caboodle I have named Karen.
That Karen… so playful :)
But seriously I was super excited about this thing and when I saw a mirror was inside I got all sorts of giddy. I can put my makeup inside and carry it wherever by the nifty handle. Wherever that has good natural lighting! Take that too orange foundation! When I figure out which one you are, and now I will, you’re going straight into the bin!
I filled out the return label card with a smiley face, obvi. I’m sure they’ll never guess that I’m actually not in my teens! Never mind they asked for my birthday.
All of my stuff was sorted and lots of it got thrown away. Some of it I don’t even know how old it is. And then I found the thing that always goes missing. The perfect tweezers. I am constantly buying these tweezers because they just up and grow legs on me.
Who would have known FOUR PAIRS were in my makeup bin/bag situation. Meh.
Now everything has a place and it’s fabulous. I have like 5 different eye shadow palettes, even if 3 of them are the exact same colors. I have a new-ish mascara and that means tomorrow I won’t have chunky eyelashes and I found my favorite lip plumping gloss that has like bee venom or something in it and makes my lips look like Angelina Jolie but has been discontinued probably for health reasons. <— I only use it for very special occasions. Not because I’m concerned about the health thing so much as it has to last until somebody brings it back. #priorities
But now with my new Caboodle, the lovely and very pink Karen, I’m all set to start wearing makeup like I’m in my thirties and I actually know what I’m doing. Ha! Whatever! I’ll need to go watch some teens and 20 somethings and their Youtube makeup videos and then maybe I’ll be all set!