« Paint Your Christmas Tree Tutorial »

I have had a white Christmas tree ever since I bought this house in 2004 or 2005 or whenever the heck it was. I loved my white tree because it wasn't exactly the norm back then. Apparently I have a thing about liking things that are "different" and disliking things that are "popular".

Out of nowhere, I decided I wanted a black tree. I went around town and the only one I found was one of those weird, tall and skinny jobbies and I didn't like it at all. Instead I bought 5 cans of cheap spray paint and headed home to start my project. It was getting dark, was terribly windy and was the coldest day we'd had so far this year. Oh, and of course I had a cold. If you haven't noticed a theme before, I can be a freakin' genius.

When it got dark I resigned that I was done for the day and was disappointed to only have gotten up through the bottom portion complete. Waking up bright and early the next morning I saw a very, very big problem. My paint isn't coating nearly as well as I had thought it had in the dark.

Long story short, this project took 16 cans of paint and two additonal trips into town to purchase it. Oh, and by the by, the Walmart about 2 miles from where I went tree shopping had almost my exact tree from years past that I was busting hum over for $45... except in black and prelit. I may sound dejected, but I love my tree all the same and, hey, I saved $29!

First thing to note... this is a long project. Second thing... you're not going to get perfect coverage. If your tree is white underneath it's going to have white come through when the limbs are roughed up a bit.

For this project you will need: 

• Artificial Christmas tree
• TON of spray paint (I used 16 for 6 feet of tree - used the cheapie $1 stuff)
• Christmas twinkle lights
• Paint brush
• Acrylic paint matching spray paint.

First things first, spray paint your pole and base.

Now I tried out about a gazillion different methods and this is what seemed to cover the best and quickest. Take each piece of tree and give it a good fluff and then a decent spray trying to cover as much as possible.

Next put the limb into its slot on the tree's pole and continue painting doing one of those crazy 360 around it to see if you've missed anything. Continue until you have the tree completely painted. Walk away and come back another day. Check around to see if there are any humongous spots you missed and correct.

I'd HIGHLY advise leaving this fella' outside for at least a week because that is apparently how long it takes for the migraine fumes to dissipate from 16 cans of spray paint.

Next you'll need to make wires of twinkle lights to match your tree. I used black acrylic Martha Stewart paint and a decent brush on clear lights with white wires and would knock out a strand an hour. First plug in your lights to make sure that they work because if they didn't after all of that work, that would suck. Do your best to cover the plastic light socket thingies but I didn't worry about getting all the way up the the bulb and with the lights on you can't tell anyway.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, this tree did initially have a standard fake tree base. On Sunday I decided it was time to trim this sucker up right. Then I flipped the switch and decided that it was time to repaint my dining room from lavendar to gray.

I shoved the tree to the middle of the room and got to painting. While I was in my manic episode of a total lack of control my baby cat Liddy ran, jumped and hugged the tree and it went down with her. I heard a slight crack but set it back up, scolded her and got back to painting. She repeated this again and finally broke the sucker totally.

Russell informed me that there was a time before tree stands (the old man that he is) and he ran to the creek to fill up a bucket with sand for me. I have to say, it is crazy sturdy and Liddy can now hug that tree for all she's worth. That sucker ain't movin! 

Doll that baby up and get excited about the totally new look that only cost you 16 bucks, or thereabouts, in paint!